Windows Down Weather

It’s thirty seven degrees tonight as I roll down Shawnee Mission Parkway in my blue 2017 Honda Fit. The windows are firmly shut and the heat is on, yet there are only five words on my mind at this moment: windows down weather mother fucker!

It’s nearly midnight as I drive home from our work holiday office party. We’re technically optional hybrid, but we’re functionally 100% remote. I’m also the only person on my team in Kansas City. Likewise, you may be thinking that it doesn’t make much sense for me to be driving home from an event with a bunch of people I don’t work with. Let me tell you this now: You are correct. Maybe this is why I’m now overcome with the desire to invoke Windows Down Weather.

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Above: The Blue 2017 Honda Fit

Windows Down Weather was created by my friend Mark many moons ago. Windows Down Weather always began just as the leaves on the trees began to turn and the days grew shorter. However, despite the warning signs, the moment it arrived always caught me off guard. There was also always a small part of me that thought that Mark might forget Windows Down Weather that year, but he never did.

Windows Down Weather typically began like this: Mark and I would be in the car, with Mark always driving. Mark typically drove in a reckless manner, although we somehow still managed to have deep philosophical conversations in the process. To Mark’s credit, he never crashed the car, although there were a few times he should have. The bigger issue was Mark turning the volume on the stereo up too loud in the middle of the conversation. I’d always have to turn the music down at some point to hear what Mark was saying.

I can still remember Mark accelerating hard out of a turn, and then suddenly all of the windows of the car are falling, just as the volume of the music is rising—whether that music was Dredg, Lacuna Coil, Tool, or Muse. Then, his right hand would come off the volume knob of the stereo. There would be a slight pause and then he’d give me a quick wild glance. The sequence would conclude with him screaming out, “It’s time for windows down weather mother fucker!”

Just as he finished talking, a blast of cold air would cut my face. It was never more than around 50 degrees outside when Mark unilaterally determined it was time for Windows Down Weather. Any warmer, and Mark would then determine it was too warm for Windows Down Weather.

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In the early days of Windows Down Weather, I’d ask Mark what the hell he was doing and tell him to put the windows up. However, I soon found out this was pointless. Once the windows had gone down, Mark had drifted away to another world, and by then, there would be no convincing Mark that it was not time for Windows Down Weather.

I remember a few times when it hit close to 20 degrees outside, although Mark still did Windows Down sessions even then. I remember these times being brief though, as Mark was quite skinny and often didn’t pack much winter clothing. It was always strange to me that despite being the originator and sole proprietor of Windows Down Weather, that even Mark didn’t seem prepared for it.

After awhile, I just started preparing for Windows Down Weather by bringing multiple jackets and a hat and gloves each time we’d hang out during the colder months. Mark also had the decency to have the heat blasting during Windows Down sessions, which cut down on the cold as well.

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Almost half of my life has now passed since I’ve seen Mark. We were close friends for about a decade. We played basketball together for more than five of those years. We spent many long weekends in his parent’s basement playing PlayStation games and watching movies. We also spent an unimaginable time driving around for no reason. However, I think the hundreds of hours we spent on those philosophical discussions while doing so made it worth it.

Eventually, our paths diverged when Mark got heavily involved in drugs and alcohol. At one point Mark was drinking more than a handle of Vodka every week. Around the last few weeks I saw him, he’d also started doing cocaine, although he’d denied it when anyone confronted him about it. He’d also often spend hours and hours in his basement playing guitar while drunk and often while also on drugs.

I remember as I looked into Mark’s eyes at these moments, that Mark was lost in his own world. Mark was just falling deeper and deeper into an abyss, until at some point, Mark fell so deep that he became unreachable. Mark wasn’t always like this though, as I then find myself thinking about Windows Down Weather again.

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Now I’m thinking back to all those times in the car with Mark, listening to the music way too loud with the windows down when it’s way too cold. Then, I remember looking over at Mark. He’s banging his head to the music and smiling and laughing. He’s cracking jokes every few minutes, tapping his hands on the steering wheel, and intermittently yelling out, “fuuuuuck,” for no reason.

I now realize that Mark was always happy during Windows Down Weather. This was why he loved Windows Down Weather so much, and this was why he kept returning to it year after year. Mark spent so much of his life being miserable. Windows Down Weather offered an escape from that darkness, even if it was only for twenty minutes at a time. Even then I knew Windows Down Weather was special to Mark, but it wasn’t until tonight that I fully realized how special it was to him. Even so, it was never something I wanted to take away from Mark.

Just then, I gaze over at my empty passenger seat. Suddenly, a tidal wave of sadness washes over me. I wonder where Mark is, and if he still remembers Windows Down Weather. I also hope that he’s doing better than when I last saw him.

As I glance outside, Shawnee Mission Parkway is mostly deserted. I still have another ten miles until home. The heat is on low, but I’m toasty in my tuxedo. Just then, I turn the heat all the way up. I then hit the windows down buttons. Frigid December air is now rushing into the car. The Honda heat overpowers it though. I turn the music up excessively loud. The song is Dreams by Beck. He sings:

When nothing’s right,

Just close your eyes,

Close your eyes,

And you’re gone….

This one is for you, Mark. And then the beat drops.

“It’s windows down weather mother fucker!” I yell out, into the void.